I believe in God. I lived without Him for a long time and when I chose to believe just a little bit — just in Jesus as my savior — I found that God took that “mustard seed” of faith and completely transformed me and my life in such amazing and good ways, in ways I could never have imagined. God responded to my tiny faith with unending relationship and I will forever be grateful.

While there is no question in my mind that God exists, I do think it’s worthwhile to contemplate what it might mean if He doesn’t. If, at the end of my life, I found myself calling out for God and finding nothing, would I regret believing in Him in this life?

No. Not for one second. Even if it’s all b.s., I am so glad to live my life as a believer. Here’s why:

1. Dead Pride. I used to live for my pride alone. I didn’t know it at the time — I genuinely thought I was a “good person.” But I did live only for my pride. Grace takes an ax to the root of pride.
   Not living for my pride lets me live so much more authentically and so much more securely. My relationships are so much better. I can own my mistakes completely and apologize humbly with no expectation/demand of forgiveness or gentleness from others. I can give with no expectation of receiving. I don’t have to prove myself right. It is such a relief to live this way.
2. Discernment. When I was not a believer, I had no discernment. I could not tell the difference between good and evil unless it was super obvious, like Hitler level. I aided people in doing evil by not calling them out on it and by accepting them as being generally “good people” anyway. I let myself and others get hurt time and again in this way.
3. Meaning and purpose. If you really look at it, this world is an ugly place — really ugly, really bad, really filled with evil in all sorts of masks. I am so grateful that I can live my life believing that all of this has already been overcome and that ultimately something way more important is going on.
4. Fruits of the Spirit. God gives us His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. I don’t have enough on my own to be able to give to others. With His, though, I have an endless supply I can always tap into. (If God doesn’t exist and I somehow just have this endless supply just from believing I do, I’m still grateful.)
5. Love and acceptance. I believe I am loved by God, perfectly, exactly as I am. I feel His care for me. This gives me an amazing feeling of security and confidence. I no longer have to try to have these needs filled up by the world. That’s good, because the world could never provide enough. People are too needy for anyone but God to meet those needs.
6. Guidance and growth. I already mentioned this in my opening paragraph. I have been transformed in ways I could never have imagined thanks to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my life.
   I remember one day when I suddenly understood how wonderful it can be to be feminine, instead of always having to make myself into this tough warrior I thought I had to be. It was like an earthquake in my soul. Really, it felt like the whole Earth moved under me. It was astonishing! There were many things tied to this: I could let go of controlling everything; I could let go of the abrasive, constantly challenging ways I dealt with others; I could let myself love people as they were; I could accept help; I could let myself be led by God and by my husband, and it was such a relief!
   Right now the Holy Spirit is guiding me into more understanding of how to be gentle but firm, in my parenting, in my work and other relationships, and even with my dogs. He’s awakened in me an understanding of how to speak TRUTH with LOVE. This is also earth-shattering/astonishing/wonderful and is changing my whole life.
   (Could it all be happenstance? Could I have all this without there being a God? Maybe… But I remember the great philosophies I came across before I was a believer and I know what it feels like now, and it’s so completely different. What I tried to do in the power of my flesh was useless. What God leads me into is not only possible, but in many ways, easy. That doesn’t mean I always walk in it, but when I do, His yoke is truly light.)

There’s more! But I think this is enough. Any one of these would be enough, in all honesty, to prove this point to me. If I am wrong and God doesn’t exist, I still benefit hugely from my faith in Him. So does everyone else in my life.

I’m not wrong, though… God exists, and He wants to have a relationship with you for all eternity. He wants to love you and help you.  He has already forgiven your sins and has a rich spiritual inheritance waiting for you. Give Him the tiniest bit of faith, accept his free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, live in His abundant grace, and watch your own life be transformed.

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