Our son — the brightest blessing of my life — was born on 3 April. Being a new parent has been an amazing journey, but also a difficult one. I could mention the challenges, but you’ve either been through this experience and know full well how it is, or you haven’t and no explanation could do it justice!
Lately I find myself contemplating this verse:
“When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” (1 Corinthians 13:11, NASB).
In context, the discussion is about love being the greatest spiritual gift and the one that gives other spiritual gifts meaning. That’s a great message, but the part that has struck me lately is about doing away with childish things.
I’ve never wanted to cling to childish things, at least not consciously. Yet I’ve found there are many childish things I’ve retained anyway and which are significant barriers to being the best mother I can be. I’m trying to do away with these childish things, but at 40, they’re fairly well entrenched!
What childish things am I talking about? No, I’m not talking about the teddy bear I sleep with when my husband is away, or my love of certain Funko Pop! figurines, or my desire to play games, though any of these things could play into the matter.
I’m talking about selfishness. I’m talking about laziness. I’m talking about the pettiness of my flesh. I’m talking about putting unimportant things before important things. I’m talking about how I should take care of business before I play.
It’s sad that I have to confront my own childishness in interacting with my child. It’s sad that I get irritated with this helpless baby when he won’t let me sleep or otherwise doesn’t cooperate with my plans. It’s sad when I want to check Facebook or scroll through articles online instead of doing the dishes in those few precious moments I could be. It’s sad when I snap at my husband over a minor thing when I could just say something like a reasonable human being. It’s sad when I perform my bedtime routine very slowly so I get a longer break from the baby while my husband wonders what’s taking so long (not that I was ever fast at these tasks, but he wasn’t holding an unhappy baby before).
But these things all happen, and all because I haven’t truly given up childish things. I have a pretty good facade in place of being an adult, but part of me is still very much a child… a child that really needs a nap!
The good news in all of this is that I can rise to the occasion, though. That’s the thing about my relationship with God. I already have the promised spiritual gifts I need, including patience and self-control. All I have to do is rest in what He’s already given me and use it. I have to be willing to put away childish things. I need to step fully into being the woman God designed me to be.
I already have the promised spiritual gifts I need, including patience and self-control.
And I think we all need to do this. So many of us cling selfishly to childish ways. We justify it. This is emotionally and spiritually stunting, but we all want our fleshly comforts. Whether it’s indulging ourselves in bad foods or too much or too little food, playing video games or watching television instead of taking out the trash, napping instead of grocery shopping — whatever the particular thing is, it’s about indulging our flesh instead of walking in the spirit. We even justify it as self-care!
I’m not against play — in fact, I think play is a wonderful way to connect to God. But we need to put first things first and play when it’s appropriate. Have you ever noticed that when you indulge yourself in some little pleasure that you shouldn’t — when you have that little voice in the back of your head saying you shouldn’t take that next bite or should be doing something else instead — it robs the pleasure right out of the experience? Yes, that extra slice of chocolate cake is still chocolate cake, but it’s missing some level of the goodness that it could have had. That’s a strong cue that you’re indulging your flesh instead of walking in the spirit. Same goes for interactions with others — when I react childishly, I feel terrible. When I approach something in the spirit instead (oh those wonderful, rare occasions!), I feel peaceful and happy, no matter how the other party reacted.
One nice thing I’ve noticed about this effort is that my behavior builds on itself. If I indulge myself, it makes it tough to do the right thing later. Laziness begets laziness… But if I’m productive, it leads to more productivity. Whatever the thing is that I’m facing in the moment, walking in the spirit will feel better for that moment and make it easier to do later.
So I’m trying. I’m almost grateful to be deprived of all the easy indulgences so I can have more opportunity to walk in the spirit. God shows his perfection in my imperfection, his power in my weakness. The fruits of the spirit that He’s already given me will sustain me… even without that much-desired nap!