As we are wont to do, my coworkers and I were having a discussion about what’s going on in our lives. One particular coworker was talking about getting his head bitten off at times when all he was trying to do was offer comfort and support. We talked about how sometimes people are like hurt or sick animals, where no matter your good intentions, any approach to them will be met with a snarl or a bite. To this, my coworker replied, “But that’s not fair! When I’m sick or hurt and I lash out not meaning to, I don’t get any understanding or forgiveness…I just get yelled at.”

And you know what? He’s right. It’s not fair. But at this point in the conversation, when we could’ve all banded together as men and said, “Yeah, it’s not fair. It’s a double standard,” we instead quoted scripture. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” – Ephesians 5:25-27.

If we want to contemplate the ultimate in unfairness, let’s contemplate our Heavenly Father. At the beginning of creation, he established a paradise for us. And what did we do? We rejected him and his paradise for our own selfish reasons. He sent blessings down to the nation of Israel, but what did they do? They paid lip service to their God’s word, puffed up their pride, and made up their own laws to follow that twisted their God’s original intent. And then, at God’s happiest moment, when he presented to us his ultimate gift to reconcile us to him, what did we do? We murdered his very own son! Yet, in all of this, God still turns to us and offers us all forgiveness and blessings. Mankind has been completely unfair to our God, who has given us everything in return for nothing. Even nothing would be preferable to the disdain, disrespect, and rejection that we daily give our God.

So, is it unfair to be the man who loves his wife as God loved the church? Yes, but no more unfair than what God himself has endured to maintain a loving relationship with us.